Living Every Second
Kris Hallenga – Living Every Second
I have just watched the amazing documentary from the BBC about the wonderful Kris Hallenga. Wow.…what a watch. She was an amazingly brave, talented and inspiring women. From being diagnosed with stage 4 incurable breast cancer at 23 years, she went on to live the most extraordinary life, raising awareness of breast cancer in young people, getting boob checking onto the curriculum in schools, creating a charity and no doubt saving hundreds of lives. She lived her life fearlessly and fully and shared the most harrowing and vulnerable parts of her journey with the world. Kris sadly died early this year at the age of 38, having lived with incurable cancer for an amazing 15 years.
(Living Every Second: The Kris Hallenga Story is on iPlayer now)
Watching the documentary as I have just passed the 5 years cancer free mark was quite a hard watch. Many tears were shed, and it made me reflect once again where I am with my life 5 years on. I am all too aware that her story could have been mine.
5 Years Cancer Free
As I told my fiends and family that I am 5 years cancer free and about to be signed off from off from the breast care team they were obviously over the moon for me. However, in amongst the hugs and best wishes I felt like a fraud. In truth, I feel a bit flat about it all.
5 years ago, if I could foresee I would be cancer free in 5 years’ time I would have been over the moon. However, the truth is the last 5 years have been hard and there has been little time for living my best life. Seizing the day, making huge life changes, living a fearless life are all well and good but when life is full of battling schools for SEN support, parenting neurodiverse children and managing health conditions…..on top of the usual work, house and life overwhelm that a lot of us struggle with, there has been little chance of big life changes.
What I have learnt though is life can be full of joy and meaning even with the challenges that it brings. Some things cannot be changed, I can not take away my son’s health conditions, but I can make sure I look after myself every day. I have also learnt that there will be bad days, and that too is OK.
It is OK to feel down.
It is OK to feel lost.
It is OK to be scared.
It is OK to feel overwhelmed.
It is OK to be angry.
In these moments, taking time to sit with how I feel is immensely powerful. Instead of running from our feelings, acknowledging them and sitting with them allows us to process them and eventually let them go.
Finding Joy Everyday
Everyday life can bring so much joy if we look for it. On a rainy day, get outside and feel the rain on your skin. Take 5 minutes for a coffee in the sunshine. Take a long hot bath with bubbles and candles. Make time for connection with others. Hug those closet to you. These tiny pockets of joy can all add up to a life filled with joy and what a wonderful life that will be.
As Kris said:
“The thing about death is it’s, well, so terribly final. Whereas life, well, life is full of opportunities. So let’s seize these opportunities. Let’s live fully, love deeply and make today count.”
Go out and find your opportunity for joy today.
AND CHECK THOSE BOOBS!